Those of you who read my blog know that I am an extremely vivid dreamer. Often my dreams are about upsetting and anxiety inducing things. Sometimes, though, I have very pleasant, sexy, wild, and downright orgasmicly vivid dreams. What if, however, I was to have a vivid dream that incorporated both sex and anxiety? Well, here you go.
I am sitting at the bar in some kind of fancy pool hall, people watching as I sip some water. The main door opens and in walks a large group of men, laughing and joking loudly as they make their way to an open game table. I recognize one of the men as somebody I know but have not been in contact with for some time. I decide to go over and talk to him.
"Hey, how have you been? It's been a long time." I say with a smile.
He smiles but I can tell that he doesn't recognize me. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't worry," I laugh. "It's been a long time and I've changed quite a bit in the past few years."
Once I tell him my name his eyes brighten and he smiles big. "Oh, my god, how have you been? It has been a while. You're looking great. What have you been up to?"
We sit at a table and talk for a while about what we have both been up to since we last saw each other. After a while his friends come over and tell him they are moving on to the next bar.
"Oh, my, a pub crawl. How much fun is that?" I say as I shove his shoulder.
"My friend is getting married and he wanted a crawl before he gets tied down." He shrugs jokingly.
"Well, you better catch up with them." I say as I watch his friends leave the hall.
He looks at me as if he feels bad leaving me alone.
"Don't worry, like I said, I'm just waiting on my cab, it should be here any minute." I smile.
"I can give you a ride home." He offers.
"Your friends..." I remind him.
"Eh, you know me, I'm not a drinker. C'mon, let's go."
He drives me back to my place. We are sitting in his car saying our goodbyes. I am about to ask if he wants to come in and continue catching up on our lives when my door swings open and I am pulled out of the car by a very strong arm.
The next thing I know I am coming to in a strange room. It is cold and I open my eyes to a half lit cement room. The first thing I notice is that I am completely naked. There is a bottle of water on the floor next to me and other than that there is the mattress I am lying on and nothing else in the room.
The heavy iron door opens and a very muscular hooded figure walks in. "Get up." He says in a rather normal voice. When I don't respond quickly, he walks over and grabs me by the arm and drags me out of the room.
I am taken to a small bathroom. The big man stands between me and the only exit. He tells me to shower thoroughly. I am shamed in my nakedness, and frightened. I move slowly but do as I'm told as he watches from under his dark hood.
After the cleansing I am walked to yet another room. This room is larger than the first two. I notice there is a long chain hanging from the ceiling. It appears to be some kind of pulley and at the dangling end is a leather collar. Under this dangling collar is a bed. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what this set-up is for. I start to tremble.
The big man pushes me over to the bed, sits me on it and puts an earpiece on me. Then the collar. He then walks over to the corner of the room where the other end of the pulley is and takes hold and tests it. He pulls the chain and it tightens on the ring in the ceiling and then pulls at my collar and I rise throat first off the bed, hanging and choking until he lets the chain slack.
While I'm catching my breath the door opens again and in walks two men, one is another big hooded guy, and the other is my friend, naked.
My friend is led over to the bed where I sit, currently on my knees. Through the earpiece I am told to get off the bed. I obey. The big guy puts an earpiece on my friend and makes him lay on the bed on his back. My friend is given a chain and collar as well, but his collar is the choke chain kind, and his pulley is linked to the floor. When his pulley is tested his collar tightens around his throat and he is pulled to the head of the bed in a fierce manner.
In my ear I am told to get on the bed and straddle my friend.
Although my dream is quite detailed and vivid as to what happens next, I'll let you use your awesome imagination to fill in the rest for yourself. Go for it. Make sure to have lots of fun with it.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Neuropathy or Claudication?...or Both?
Today I went in to see my primary doctor. The official reason was to follow up on an infected bug bite I've been dealing with since July 3rd. The real reason I was there was to push the issue of terrible leg pain that I've been trying to have addressed for a long time.
The doctor came in and asked how I've been doing. "Oh, alright, I'm OK."
"Not too good? Could be better?"
"Well, I have an issue I need addressed and I'd like to discuss with you."
""Well, let's hear it."
I told him all about my leg pain. That it had started in 2007 and I saw my primary at the time about it and she had told me it was poor circulation and prescribed a medication.
"I can't remember what it was called, it started with a T. But I never took it because I lost my insurance right after that visit."
I told him I had gone without insurance up until 2013 and when I got to see a doctor again the concern was now all about my heart and not my legs. I went on to explain my heart surgery and that after that I had told my cardiologist about the leg pain on three separate occasions but no one will address the issue. I told this doctor today that I am in terrible pain whenever I do any walking, but I walk anyway. A lot.
"And does the pain get any better the more you are exercising? Or is it getting worse?"
"I am in agony."
He asked what the pain feels like and where exactly it is at. I explained that it starts in my calves and the more I walk the more it hurts. It feels like the muscle is trying to rip itself away from the bone. and the more exercise I do the more it hurts and spreads up the back of my thighs and down the sides of my ankles. Eventually I get numbness in my toes and around my thighs. Sometimes my fingers go numb, too. I also pointed out that from my mid shin down, my lower extremities are beginning to look kind of sun-kissed. Oh, and of course I mentioned the ankle, foot, and toe swelling.
"OK, OK. We need to take into consideration that you're type I and also that you have heart trouble, even if these symptoms started before your chest pain." He went on to explain that this could be one of two problems, or a mixture of both, neuropathy and/or claudication.
The doctor prescribed a medication called Gabapentin for neuropathy. It should help the pain if the pain is caused from neuropathy. I am to take one pill every evening for two weeks, and then can increase to two a day if needed. He also set up an appointment for an ultrasound of both my legs to see if there is any narrowing or clogging of my arteries and veins in my legs (claudication).
I am to go back for a follow-up with him on the 29th to discuss if the medication is helping and also to go over the results of the ultrasound.
I am so glad I am finally having this pain issue taken seriously! I hope I can be pain free soon...or at least have much less pain in the near future!
After the discussion about my leg pain, he asked about the infection. I showed him the scab and we both agreed it is finally healing up quite well and needs no further medical attention.
And then, after all this discussion of pain during activity, I walked 2.5 miles home. It hurt. I stopped and sat down twice to rest my screaming legs. Of course this only gives me immediate relief and the pain starts up again as soon as I start walking. The first stop was more to sit and rest while I drank a Hansen's to bring up my rapidly dropping blood-sugar. My shoe for some reason didn't want to stay tied and I had to stop and tie it twice as well.
I made it home in one painful piece. It took me one hour and fifteen minutes to walk two and a half miles. I think that is good considering my poor health. Maybe in a year I'll be able to jog it in no time flat without even breaking a sweat! Yeah, right.
The doctor came in and asked how I've been doing. "Oh, alright, I'm OK."
"Not too good? Could be better?"
"Well, I have an issue I need addressed and I'd like to discuss with you."
""Well, let's hear it."
I told him all about my leg pain. That it had started in 2007 and I saw my primary at the time about it and she had told me it was poor circulation and prescribed a medication.
"I can't remember what it was called, it started with a T. But I never took it because I lost my insurance right after that visit."
I told him I had gone without insurance up until 2013 and when I got to see a doctor again the concern was now all about my heart and not my legs. I went on to explain my heart surgery and that after that I had told my cardiologist about the leg pain on three separate occasions but no one will address the issue. I told this doctor today that I am in terrible pain whenever I do any walking, but I walk anyway. A lot.
"And does the pain get any better the more you are exercising? Or is it getting worse?"
"I am in agony."
He asked what the pain feels like and where exactly it is at. I explained that it starts in my calves and the more I walk the more it hurts. It feels like the muscle is trying to rip itself away from the bone. and the more exercise I do the more it hurts and spreads up the back of my thighs and down the sides of my ankles. Eventually I get numbness in my toes and around my thighs. Sometimes my fingers go numb, too. I also pointed out that from my mid shin down, my lower extremities are beginning to look kind of sun-kissed. Oh, and of course I mentioned the ankle, foot, and toe swelling.
"OK, OK. We need to take into consideration that you're type I and also that you have heart trouble, even if these symptoms started before your chest pain." He went on to explain that this could be one of two problems, or a mixture of both, neuropathy and/or claudication.
The doctor prescribed a medication called Gabapentin for neuropathy. It should help the pain if the pain is caused from neuropathy. I am to take one pill every evening for two weeks, and then can increase to two a day if needed. He also set up an appointment for an ultrasound of both my legs to see if there is any narrowing or clogging of my arteries and veins in my legs (claudication).
I am to go back for a follow-up with him on the 29th to discuss if the medication is helping and also to go over the results of the ultrasound.
I am so glad I am finally having this pain issue taken seriously! I hope I can be pain free soon...or at least have much less pain in the near future!
After the discussion about my leg pain, he asked about the infection. I showed him the scab and we both agreed it is finally healing up quite well and needs no further medical attention.
And then, after all this discussion of pain during activity, I walked 2.5 miles home. It hurt. I stopped and sat down twice to rest my screaming legs. Of course this only gives me immediate relief and the pain starts up again as soon as I start walking. The first stop was more to sit and rest while I drank a Hansen's to bring up my rapidly dropping blood-sugar. My shoe for some reason didn't want to stay tied and I had to stop and tie it twice as well.
I made it home in one painful piece. It took me one hour and fifteen minutes to walk two and a half miles. I think that is good considering my poor health. Maybe in a year I'll be able to jog it in no time flat without even breaking a sweat! Yeah, right.
Friday, September 12, 2014
He Did Not Just Say More Surgery!
It's pretty consistent that I have at least one doctor appointment per week these days. That's how it is when you go so long with type I diabetes and no insurance. When you finally get insurance again, you spend all your time fixing everything that's been falling apart for years.
Today I saw my cataract specialist for a follow-up on my lens replacement. I had surgery exactly one month ago to replace the lens in my right eye with an artificial lens. Six months ago, when I first saw an ophthalmologist after several years with no insurance, they had informed me that, along with advanced retinopathy, I also had a small cataract. I was also informed that with the eye surgery I was going to need for the retinopathy, it would cause the cataract to grow very quickly. And it did. Five months later I had the lens replacement surgery.
So today was the follow-up. First, they did a vision test on both my eyes. My right eye has very limited vision right now due to the oil placed in there to help keep my retina flat. You can read several of my older posts to get info on the oil and retinopathy. My left eye also has retinopathy but is in much better condition and my vision is not too bad.
After the vision test the doctor examined me. He found some concerns regarding my eye but I didn't ask for details because all I heard was, "We'll have to go in and take care of that.". I have had four surgeries on my right eye in a five month span, the last thing I want to hear right now is that I need more surgery! He went on to say that he would relay all his findings to my retina specialist since he is my primary ophthalmologist right now, and let him make the decisions. The surgery, he said, could wait until the oil is removed, in about a year.
Whew, I'm glad it can wait.
Finally, there was one suture in my eye that was ready to be removed. He numbed my eye and removed the suture. They gave me antibiotic drops to take for three days.
He said I wouldn't need to follow up with him again since I am continuing to see my retina specialist.
And then I walked home.
Today I saw my cataract specialist for a follow-up on my lens replacement. I had surgery exactly one month ago to replace the lens in my right eye with an artificial lens. Six months ago, when I first saw an ophthalmologist after several years with no insurance, they had informed me that, along with advanced retinopathy, I also had a small cataract. I was also informed that with the eye surgery I was going to need for the retinopathy, it would cause the cataract to grow very quickly. And it did. Five months later I had the lens replacement surgery.
So today was the follow-up. First, they did a vision test on both my eyes. My right eye has very limited vision right now due to the oil placed in there to help keep my retina flat. You can read several of my older posts to get info on the oil and retinopathy. My left eye also has retinopathy but is in much better condition and my vision is not too bad.
After the vision test the doctor examined me. He found some concerns regarding my eye but I didn't ask for details because all I heard was, "We'll have to go in and take care of that.". I have had four surgeries on my right eye in a five month span, the last thing I want to hear right now is that I need more surgery! He went on to say that he would relay all his findings to my retina specialist since he is my primary ophthalmologist right now, and let him make the decisions. The surgery, he said, could wait until the oil is removed, in about a year.
Whew, I'm glad it can wait.
Finally, there was one suture in my eye that was ready to be removed. He numbed my eye and removed the suture. They gave me antibiotic drops to take for three days.
He said I wouldn't need to follow up with him again since I am continuing to see my retina specialist.
And then I walked home.
The Balancing Act
One would think that since I've been a diabetic for so very long that I would find no trouble in the balancing act that is daily living with this condition. Wrong. Allow me to elaborate:
1. Although I was taught from a young age how to eat healthy, exercise, and take shots, and balance it all so I didn't go too high or too low with my blood glucose levels, I didn't do it. Possessing the knowledge is one thing, putting it to good use is a whole 'nother can o' worms.
2. Doctors and educators will tell you it's all about diet, exercise, and meds, and balancing all three. And they're not lying...but they're also not telling the whole story. Stress, hormonal changes, changes in daily routine/activities, medications, illness, and so much more can make you run higher or lower, and need to be taken into consideration every time you check your blood and get ready to medicate, eat, or exercise. So in a way it's not just a balancing act, but a juggling act as well. All day, everyday...
3. As the years go by, your body changes. The balancing act you've perfected over the past year or so will at some point no longer be effective and you'll have to start all over and find a new balance/juggling act that does work. Yeah, it's like that.
I have spent my life not caring, not ever really trying because I saw no point in it. "I'd rather live happy and die young than live restricted and live in suffering." I would say jokingly (but kind of truthfully). I never realized there was another way things could go. How about living happy for a while and then suffering for a long time before you finally die? That's where I've ended up, but it's not a death sentence yet. I can still fix things and live a lot longer, and healthy and happy.
So now I am taking all this knowledge I've known all my life and actually using it. I have been following a low carb diet and exercising more for almost a week now and every single day my blood glucose levels haven't reached above 100. Very good! Especially for me, a chronic sky high diabetic.
The only problem is that I tend to dip too low now. This is where I am struggling with the balancing act. I have to mess with the amounts of carbs at each meal, taking into consideration my activity level/plan for each day and adjust my insulin accordingly, too. There is so much to pay attention to, and so much to adjust one way or the other. I have been writing everything down: carbs and what I'm eating and when, how much and when I'm exercising, blood glucose levels and times, insulin dosage and times. So much data, so much balancing.
I'm actually enjoying it, though. I feel so much better with this healthy diet, exercising (even though my legs hurt like hell), and the feeling of accomplishment it all gives me.
I'm finally doing it right and I never knew I'd feel so good about being so strict!
1. Although I was taught from a young age how to eat healthy, exercise, and take shots, and balance it all so I didn't go too high or too low with my blood glucose levels, I didn't do it. Possessing the knowledge is one thing, putting it to good use is a whole 'nother can o' worms.
2. Doctors and educators will tell you it's all about diet, exercise, and meds, and balancing all three. And they're not lying...but they're also not telling the whole story. Stress, hormonal changes, changes in daily routine/activities, medications, illness, and so much more can make you run higher or lower, and need to be taken into consideration every time you check your blood and get ready to medicate, eat, or exercise. So in a way it's not just a balancing act, but a juggling act as well. All day, everyday...
3. As the years go by, your body changes. The balancing act you've perfected over the past year or so will at some point no longer be effective and you'll have to start all over and find a new balance/juggling act that does work. Yeah, it's like that.
I have spent my life not caring, not ever really trying because I saw no point in it. "I'd rather live happy and die young than live restricted and live in suffering." I would say jokingly (but kind of truthfully). I never realized there was another way things could go. How about living happy for a while and then suffering for a long time before you finally die? That's where I've ended up, but it's not a death sentence yet. I can still fix things and live a lot longer, and healthy and happy.
So now I am taking all this knowledge I've known all my life and actually using it. I have been following a low carb diet and exercising more for almost a week now and every single day my blood glucose levels haven't reached above 100. Very good! Especially for me, a chronic sky high diabetic.
The only problem is that I tend to dip too low now. This is where I am struggling with the balancing act. I have to mess with the amounts of carbs at each meal, taking into consideration my activity level/plan for each day and adjust my insulin accordingly, too. There is so much to pay attention to, and so much to adjust one way or the other. I have been writing everything down: carbs and what I'm eating and when, how much and when I'm exercising, blood glucose levels and times, insulin dosage and times. So much data, so much balancing.
I'm actually enjoying it, though. I feel so much better with this healthy diet, exercising (even though my legs hurt like hell), and the feeling of accomplishment it all gives me.
I'm finally doing it right and I never knew I'd feel so good about being so strict!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Why I Am An Open Book
I am writing this in response to questions and comments I have received from several different people both online and in person. Questions like, "You don't mind people knowing about your health issues?" "You don't mind telling strangers about private things?", etc.
There is much tolerance and understanding from me for the many different views and personality types in this world. How boring would life be if we all felt, acted, and thought the same about everything? I enjoy friendly talks with people about their views, and I learn much and grow from observing other's personalities, behaviors, and experiences.
When it comes to my life I am pretty much an open book. Just reading through my many blog posts you will see that I do not hold much back when discussing my health issues, my faults, my dreams, etc.. Not all people are like this. There are many people out there who would never dream of talking in public about their poor health, "personal" experiences, and any other "private" things. I understand the conservative, prudish, and private types, and I tolerate and respect such traits, but I do have some issues with this behavior.
So here is my point of view, this is the kind of person I am. I don't want or expect everyone to be like me, but for many of us, this is how we work, and it works for us:
1. If you don't want to talk about your negative issues, then don't, it is your right. Some of us, however, find talking about things to be therapeutic and very helpful.
2. My questions to others who are not open books: If you hold everything in and go about your life ignoring and burying bad things, shameful experiences, etc., then how do you work them out? Cure them? Learn from them? Get help? Holding on to things and ignoring them usually only causes me anxiety, prolonged emotional, psychological, and physical strife. My thought is that you don't have to make it public, but you should at least open up to a trusted friend about it.
Of course, I do understand that just because people choose to not talk about their issues, doesn't necessarily mean they are ignoring or burying them. But I have experienced that most people I meet that are the private type are usually this way out of shame and embarrassment. Somehow they think being ill or making mistakes makes them a bad person or a failure, so they hide it. This is where I am coming from with the above questions.
3. There is no shame in being human! We all make mistakes, we all get injuries and illnesses, we all experience bad things, embarrassing things, now and then. When we don't hide it, when we don't pretend to be just dandy, we can help each other better, even perfect strangers. For example: My many blog posts on my health issues and bad decisions as a child can be read by anyone. I hope that many young diabetics out there find them and read them and learn that they are not alone in their struggle, and that it really is best to listen to your doctor and take care of yourself. Just like one of my posts says "I am living proof" of what happens when you don't take care of your diabetes, learn from my life! Don't go down the road I did.
Life is to be lived, for better or worse. We all have so much inside us that can be used to help others to be happier, healthier. By not hiding our troubles, we can more easily commiserate, relate, and accept that we are not terrible, miserable, people; but that we are human and not alone in our struggle.
This is just my point of view on the subject. I don't think everyone should necessarily wear their whole life story on their sleeves, but that even if you open up to people you trust, you can help each other. And then there are some people who work things out best on their own, in the privacy of their own bedrooms. And that is just fine, too. It's just not the way I work. :)
There is much tolerance and understanding from me for the many different views and personality types in this world. How boring would life be if we all felt, acted, and thought the same about everything? I enjoy friendly talks with people about their views, and I learn much and grow from observing other's personalities, behaviors, and experiences.
When it comes to my life I am pretty much an open book. Just reading through my many blog posts you will see that I do not hold much back when discussing my health issues, my faults, my dreams, etc.. Not all people are like this. There are many people out there who would never dream of talking in public about their poor health, "personal" experiences, and any other "private" things. I understand the conservative, prudish, and private types, and I tolerate and respect such traits, but I do have some issues with this behavior.
So here is my point of view, this is the kind of person I am. I don't want or expect everyone to be like me, but for many of us, this is how we work, and it works for us:
1. If you don't want to talk about your negative issues, then don't, it is your right. Some of us, however, find talking about things to be therapeutic and very helpful.
2. My questions to others who are not open books: If you hold everything in and go about your life ignoring and burying bad things, shameful experiences, etc., then how do you work them out? Cure them? Learn from them? Get help? Holding on to things and ignoring them usually only causes me anxiety, prolonged emotional, psychological, and physical strife. My thought is that you don't have to make it public, but you should at least open up to a trusted friend about it.
Of course, I do understand that just because people choose to not talk about their issues, doesn't necessarily mean they are ignoring or burying them. But I have experienced that most people I meet that are the private type are usually this way out of shame and embarrassment. Somehow they think being ill or making mistakes makes them a bad person or a failure, so they hide it. This is where I am coming from with the above questions.
3. There is no shame in being human! We all make mistakes, we all get injuries and illnesses, we all experience bad things, embarrassing things, now and then. When we don't hide it, when we don't pretend to be just dandy, we can help each other better, even perfect strangers. For example: My many blog posts on my health issues and bad decisions as a child can be read by anyone. I hope that many young diabetics out there find them and read them and learn that they are not alone in their struggle, and that it really is best to listen to your doctor and take care of yourself. Just like one of my posts says "I am living proof" of what happens when you don't take care of your diabetes, learn from my life! Don't go down the road I did.
Life is to be lived, for better or worse. We all have so much inside us that can be used to help others to be happier, healthier. By not hiding our troubles, we can more easily commiserate, relate, and accept that we are not terrible, miserable, people; but that we are human and not alone in our struggle.
This is just my point of view on the subject. I don't think everyone should necessarily wear their whole life story on their sleeves, but that even if you open up to people you trust, you can help each other. And then there are some people who work things out best on their own, in the privacy of their own bedrooms. And that is just fine, too. It's just not the way I work. :)
Friday, September 5, 2014
Cloudy With A Chance of Healing
Had another post-op follow-up with my eye doctor. I
recently had a fourth surgery on my right eye related to diabetic
retinopathy. The surgery had consisted of a lens replacement for a
cataract, they also cleaned up a hyphema (collection of blood), and put
in oil to help keep my retina flat.
Not long after the surgery I had developed epithelial failure which resulted in a cloudy cornea. The doctor decided to wait and see before doing any treatment because this is something that usually clears up on it's own.
At today's appointment the doctor asked me right away how the cloudiness was doing. I informed him that it initially had gotten worse but then started to clear up. He was pleased to hear this because it means that the cells of my cornea are working again to clear up moisture.
He examined my eye thoroughly and made a lot of pleasant comments in the process. "Looks good", "Real nice", "Healing up well", etc.. After the examination, he prescribed an ointment for me to use every evening. This ointment works to aid in clearing up the moisture in the cornea. He had not prescribed the medication the first time he saw me for the cloudiness because he wanted to see if the cells would begin to work again, and also because the medication stings and he didn't want to cause more discomfort unless necessary.
I go back again in two weeks.
My walk home is a mile. The leg pain I always experience (poor circulation) began immediately and got progressively more painful as the walk went on. I toughed it out and made it home. I mention the leg pain every time I see my primary doctor, the issue is always put on the back burner in preference to dealing with other issues first. I am tired of this and really hope that when I get the referral to an endocrinologist to go through I can finally have this issue addressed. The pain is taking a toll on my quality of life now.
Not long after the surgery I had developed epithelial failure which resulted in a cloudy cornea. The doctor decided to wait and see before doing any treatment because this is something that usually clears up on it's own.
At today's appointment the doctor asked me right away how the cloudiness was doing. I informed him that it initially had gotten worse but then started to clear up. He was pleased to hear this because it means that the cells of my cornea are working again to clear up moisture.
He examined my eye thoroughly and made a lot of pleasant comments in the process. "Looks good", "Real nice", "Healing up well", etc.. After the examination, he prescribed an ointment for me to use every evening. This ointment works to aid in clearing up the moisture in the cornea. He had not prescribed the medication the first time he saw me for the cloudiness because he wanted to see if the cells would begin to work again, and also because the medication stings and he didn't want to cause more discomfort unless necessary.
I go back again in two weeks.
My walk home is a mile. The leg pain I always experience (poor circulation) began immediately and got progressively more painful as the walk went on. I toughed it out and made it home. I mention the leg pain every time I see my primary doctor, the issue is always put on the back burner in preference to dealing with other issues first. I am tired of this and really hope that when I get the referral to an endocrinologist to go through I can finally have this issue addressed. The pain is taking a toll on my quality of life now.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
A Weekend With Donnie Yen
I had a great weekend. I traveled up into the mountains to visit with family I haven't seen for months. I did a very small amount of exercise, but mostly spent the days lounging and laughing with family...and eating way too much.
I can not drive anymore because of vision issues. Apparently the DMV actually does keep an eye on drivers abilities to be safe on the road and doesn't just give anyone a license. In any case I had to rely on my brother to pick me up after work on Friday and take me up the mountain.
On the way up we caught up on what we've both been up to since the last time we saw each other which I think was about five months ago. It was a nice drive up the hill and out of the city. The weather was hot and the AC wasn't working but that didn't bother us, we both thrive in the heat. I've never felt that this particular brother of mine shared much in common with me, but over this past year with so much pain happening to both of us, we have grown closer and I have seen our many similarities. Out of the ashes of pain grows many sweet flowers.
Once at the home of the family matriarch and patriarch, the lounging began. We had a slice of the banana bread I had baked and brought with me. This evening was quiet and consisted of visiting and movie watching. I am a huge Donnie Yen fan and took with me on this trip several of his movies. It was easy to convince my mom and brother to watch one each evening. My mom got hooked after the first one, my brother after the second. This night we watched Special ID. I prefer to watch the movies in the native Mandarin with subtitles. My Mom and brother don't like to have to read their movies, so we watched with English dubbing. I think it cheapens the movie a bit, but Donnie Yen is awesome with subs or dubs.
The next day I started out by taking the dog for a walk. We walked down the long driveway and then down the street to the neighborhood mailboxes and then turned around and came back. The walk down is literally downhill, so an easy walk, a warm-up. The walk back is mostly uphill and for me and the old arthritic dog, it was a real workout. The walk all-in-all was maybe a quarter of a mile and half of that is uphill, so not much work for a healthy person, but for me the uphill part was a real eye-opener to my need to shape up.
After the walk I went into town with mom and we did some grocery shopping. I had offered to cook dinner and so we picked up the ingredients I would need. At one point we got separated in the store and I just could not find her. I had to laugh and joke with her once we met up again.
"I lost you! I almost went up to an employee and told them I lost my mommy and started crying."
Back at the house we put away the groceries and then took a break on the couch. After a bit we went into the reading room and dug through the closet and pulled out a couple boxes filled with old family photos. I found so many pictures I thought were lost. I asked to take them home so I could scan them and restore them. Mom agreed and I was so very excited!
I made Salmon Kyoto, steamed zucchini, and baby reds for dinner. Dad, who is a picky eater, really loved the salmon. Mom and brother agreed the meal was yummy. After the meal we remained at the table for a bit and listened to dad tell a story about a pet dog.
Later in the evening, mom, brother, and I watched another Donnie Yen movie. Ip Man I think would be their favorite movie of the weekend.
The next day I again began the day by taking the dog for a walk. This time I didn't have any trouble until the very end of the uphill trek. I was happy to see such quick improvement. The dog even seemed to have an easier time of it.
This day was special, we were going to have more family over. My eldest brother, sister-in-law, cousins, and their two kids. We waited excitedly for everyone to show up and then had a BBQ with fresh fruit, snacks, and I made a Caesar salad.
I spent some time talking with my eldest brother about my writing, our likes in books and authors, and our health issues. Eldest brother has been working hard at being healthy and has lost many pounds and looks great. His health is improving tremendously and we are all so very proud of him.
I was happy to be able to visit with all of my family that were there this day. It was especially nice to watch my two second cousins running around and playing and being precious little toddlers. They both resemble their parents so much. Cutie pies for sure.
This evening we sat down and watched IP Man 2. Eldest brother joined us this time and I explained to him before the movie that there is not much need to have seen the first one before the second because the second movie stands well on it's own. Everyone enjoyed it.
This evening I also made Chai Tea Lattes for myself and mom. Eldest brother tried the Chai Tea on it's own for the first time. He made me laugh with his little tongue twist up:
"So, are you going to make the ch...teh..te..tai chi?"
"Chai Tea?"
"LOL, yeah, that...geez, 'tai chi'."
"Sure, do you want it hot, cold, regular, or latte?"
"I don't know, I've never had tai chi before."
The next day I took the dog for a walk again. This time I had very little trouble, but the dog got exhausted. After the walk the day became a very lazy one. We spent most of the day eating and watching T.V.. Eldest brother and sister-in-law left for home in the late afternoon. Cousin and second cousins came by again for more visiting and stayed for a few hours. I made another salad, and quesadillas for dinner.
Before bed we watched one last Donnie Yen movie. It was just mom and I this time because brother had to be in bed early. We watched Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen. She loved all the Donnie Yen movies so much that she ordered some.
Finally the day came where I would have to return to my normal daily routine. Mom drove me down to the city and we did some shopping with my cousin and aunt before I was dropped off with my husband and went home. It was a wonderful weekend, but now I'm in the comfort of my own home once more. Happy as a clam.
I think I'll watch a Donnie Yen movie today. Which one? They're all so good!
I can not drive anymore because of vision issues. Apparently the DMV actually does keep an eye on drivers abilities to be safe on the road and doesn't just give anyone a license. In any case I had to rely on my brother to pick me up after work on Friday and take me up the mountain.
On the way up we caught up on what we've both been up to since the last time we saw each other which I think was about five months ago. It was a nice drive up the hill and out of the city. The weather was hot and the AC wasn't working but that didn't bother us, we both thrive in the heat. I've never felt that this particular brother of mine shared much in common with me, but over this past year with so much pain happening to both of us, we have grown closer and I have seen our many similarities. Out of the ashes of pain grows many sweet flowers.
Once at the home of the family matriarch and patriarch, the lounging began. We had a slice of the banana bread I had baked and brought with me. This evening was quiet and consisted of visiting and movie watching. I am a huge Donnie Yen fan and took with me on this trip several of his movies. It was easy to convince my mom and brother to watch one each evening. My mom got hooked after the first one, my brother after the second. This night we watched Special ID. I prefer to watch the movies in the native Mandarin with subtitles. My Mom and brother don't like to have to read their movies, so we watched with English dubbing. I think it cheapens the movie a bit, but Donnie Yen is awesome with subs or dubs.
After the walk I went into town with mom and we did some grocery shopping. I had offered to cook dinner and so we picked up the ingredients I would need. At one point we got separated in the store and I just could not find her. I had to laugh and joke with her once we met up again.
"I lost you! I almost went up to an employee and told them I lost my mommy and started crying."
Back at the house we put away the groceries and then took a break on the couch. After a bit we went into the reading room and dug through the closet and pulled out a couple boxes filled with old family photos. I found so many pictures I thought were lost. I asked to take them home so I could scan them and restore them. Mom agreed and I was so very excited!
I made Salmon Kyoto, steamed zucchini, and baby reds for dinner. Dad, who is a picky eater, really loved the salmon. Mom and brother agreed the meal was yummy. After the meal we remained at the table for a bit and listened to dad tell a story about a pet dog.
Later in the evening, mom, brother, and I watched another Donnie Yen movie. Ip Man I think would be their favorite movie of the weekend.
This day was special, we were going to have more family over. My eldest brother, sister-in-law, cousins, and their two kids. We waited excitedly for everyone to show up and then had a BBQ with fresh fruit, snacks, and I made a Caesar salad.
I spent some time talking with my eldest brother about my writing, our likes in books and authors, and our health issues. Eldest brother has been working hard at being healthy and has lost many pounds and looks great. His health is improving tremendously and we are all so very proud of him.
I was happy to be able to visit with all of my family that were there this day. It was especially nice to watch my two second cousins running around and playing and being precious little toddlers. They both resemble their parents so much. Cutie pies for sure.
This evening we sat down and watched IP Man 2. Eldest brother joined us this time and I explained to him before the movie that there is not much need to have seen the first one before the second because the second movie stands well on it's own. Everyone enjoyed it.
"So, are you going to make the ch...teh..te..tai chi?"
"Chai Tea?"
"LOL, yeah, that...geez, 'tai chi'."
"Sure, do you want it hot, cold, regular, or latte?"
"I don't know, I've never had tai chi before."
The next day I took the dog for a walk again. This time I had very little trouble, but the dog got exhausted. After the walk the day became a very lazy one. We spent most of the day eating and watching T.V.. Eldest brother and sister-in-law left for home in the late afternoon. Cousin and second cousins came by again for more visiting and stayed for a few hours. I made another salad, and quesadillas for dinner.
Before bed we watched one last Donnie Yen movie. It was just mom and I this time because brother had to be in bed early. We watched Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen. She loved all the Donnie Yen movies so much that she ordered some.
I think I'll watch a Donnie Yen movie today. Which one? They're all so good!
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