Monday, September 23, 2013

Hypersensitivity, No Bueno.

I have a lot of friends these days, and even though they all have had their moments of causing me heartache and anger, I love them all and consider my life a million times better with them in it.

This wasn't the fact just a few years ago.  From childhood until about six or so years ago, I was what you could consider a loner.  I had few friends and kept everyone at arms length or further.  Why?  It wasn't because I was shy, I have never been shy. It was because I was hypersensitive.  I took everything to heart, I personalized everything that was said or done, whether it was about me or not.  I spent all of my time afraid that I was going to get hurt, or letting myself be hurt or angered.  And there was no reason to feel the way I did, I was just being too sensitive.

This hypersensitivity was costing me potentially great friendships and experiences.  Not to mention how unhappy I was because I took every little thing to heart.  I eventually realized this and began to work to improve my outlook and how I viewed and understood people.  Not everything that is said or done is aimed at me.  Not everything that is aimed at me is meant to hurt or anger.  It took a bit of time to change; every time I found myself becoming upset with something someone said or did, I stopped and thought to myself "Think about it, are they really attacking me, or am I just viewing it that way?".  Over time my emotional and mental processes changed and I found that I was much more relaxed around people.  I actually love, and look forward to, hanging out with friends and meeting new people.  I am not easily hurt or angered anymore and life is good!

Yes, people can be cruel.  But most of the time, I have learned, they aren't intending to hurt or anger. Depending on the person and the circumstances, most of the time they are just trying to kid, have a little fun, or state their disagreement with me.  Most of the time they are just conversing and nothing more!  Very rarely are they aiming to hurt, anger, or embarrass me.   

Life is a lot easier and happier now that I have learned to not let every little thing get to me.  I have stopped personalizing, and being hypersensitive.  I am happy and I have friends I can joke with and take jokes from without getting all upset for no good reason.

I have my husband and many friends to thank for this lesson.  :)

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