Saturday, November 16, 2013

White Trash Double Magical Beach Wedding

Weirdest dream ever.

In a small town in Maine lived a group of people who, over the generations, had become a very tight knit community.  This community had little money, education, or teeth, but they were deeply religious and had each other.

Missy Jane loved Edgar Jay with all her heart, and Missy's cousin, Mary Jo, loved Jimmy Ray with all of her's.  The two couples could not marry, though, because the mystical spirits would not allow it.  No one knew why the spirits got angry every time the question of these two deeply in love couple's marrying came up, but they did.  The sky would turn dark, the wind would howl, and sometimes members of the community would fall ill.

One Sunday, right in the middle of Pastor Billy's service, Missy Jane came crashing through the doors of the First Southern Baptist Church of Our Saviour Jesus Christ You Dad-Gum Know It yelling that she had found a way.

"Look! Look!  I found a way to git us hitched!"  She hollered as she ran to the front pew where sat her love Edgar Jay.

In Missy Jane's hand she held a locket.  It was an old locket, silver with etchings of a fox surrounded by tall grass.  When Missy Jane opened the locket, it was empty.

"What about it?"  Edgar Jay asked, confused.

"If we go and get married on the beach and put some sand in here and keep it forever, we can be married!"

Edgar Jay looked at his love with an expression of doubt.

"As long as the sand stays in the locket here, we can stay hitched without angering the spirits."  She smiled big.

"OK, well how in hell we gonna git the whole town to the beach?"  Edgar Jay asked.

"Yeah, you now Jimmy Ray can't travel far seeing's how he's so big."  Mary Jo spoke sadly as she looked to the back of the church to the only spot her man could fit.

"We'll do it at White Sands beach, it ain't pretty or big, but it's less than a mile from here."  Missy Jane explained.

That very day the entire town packed up their trucks and campers, stayed dressed in their Sunday best, and drove out to the beach to marry the two couples.  Just before the ceremony started, Missy Jane took a pinch of sand from the beach and placed it into her magical locket and closed it up forever.

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