Friends come and go, it's just a fact of life. Some come, make a lasting mark for better or worse, and then leave never to be seen again; others come, make a difference, and stay. I have always strived to be a good friend to all who come into my life, it is of immense importance to me to always be the best friend I can, I'm not perfect but I try hard to be there for my friends. Some people make it really hard, though.
I have relearned a valuable lesson over the last few months. This is a lesson I learned nearly fifteen years ago and I guess I didn't hold onto that knowledge; that, or I'm just a sucker for punishment. People will use you, people will abuse you if you let them. Human beings are masters at trickery, they will pretend to be a good friend only to get what they want and then leave you with a broken heart and jaded soul.
I know I sound very angry and heartbroken, but it's not that bad. I expected all these things that have happened to happen, it was no surprise, it just seems so sad that people I care so much about don't care in return. I've been sick and because of my health issues I have had to back off from the normal fun that I used to enjoy with my friends. Also, certain factors have made my husband and myself need to back off from hosting so many of our friend gatherings, causing more of a distancing. There are other things that have contributed but I do not wish to voice them here in public.
This was all made worse when a friend in the group was brutally, verbally, ganged up on and attacked in public by other friends in the group. No one here is totally innocent; but to gang up on, bully, and publicly embarrass and crush someone, especially someone who is already down, is completely unacceptable and down right despicable.
I know this is kind of hard to follow since I am not giving many details but the point is that I have made a huge misjudgemnet, people I thought were more or less good, have proven to be the lowest of low.
I have no intention of writing anyone off; in my book once you are a friend you always will be a friend of mine. But because of what has been happening over the last few months I don't think I can be the same friend I always strove to be.
No loss to them though, I guess, they never thought much of me to begin with.