Friday, August 1, 2014

The Ugly Truth

I can't stand to look at myself anymore.  I avoid the mirror.  I only leave the house when I have to.  I even took advantage of a long medical leave just so I didn't have to go to work and be seen in public.  I have become a freak.

Not that I ever was very attractive, but now I am so monstrous.

I am scarred, but at least those I can hide for the most part.  It's my right eye...my face that shames me so these days.  I've always struggled with acne and bushy eyebrows.  Those things I could deal with.  But now there is no hiding a eye that looks like it's been cursed by some terrible evil entity.  mismatched, shrunken looking, and darkened.  I look in the mirror and shrink away from the ugliness that used to be the attractive thing I had going for me.

I know, I know.  I am being shallow and vain.  I can't help it, it's like all the ugliness I hid inside is now splattered across my face for all to see.

Will it go away?  Will I heal from this?  There's no doubt I will to some extent, but I'm not sure I will ever look the same again.

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