Cinnamon...what?

I started my blog, Cinnamon, on October 26, 2012.  "Getting Off My Ass" was my first blog post, ever.  The post was to set up my blog and let people know what I intended the blog to be about.  Originally it was supposed to be simply a tool to help me practice and improve my writing skills.  I had no idea what to write about, but a few friends made it easy for me.

"Just write."

"Write about whatever is on your mind."

"Write about what you like, it doesn't matter.  Just write!"

So I did.  I've written about things like stress and laziness.  I've written about weird and interesting dreams I've had.  I've written about my writing. I've written about my life in general.   But one thing I didn't even touch on at first was my health and type I diabetes.

Why?  If I'm writing about what's on my mind then you would think that something so important, something like type I diabetes would be the main thing on my mind all the time!  I would like to say, nope, no diabetes on this mind!  But in reality it is never not on my mind, but at the time in my life when I started this blog, I was living with zero health insurance and had zero dollars to spend..on anything.  So I spent all my time trying not to freak out and worry about my type I diabetes.  I ignored it as best I could.  So, of course, I never wrote about it.

But then things changed.  I started to have bad chest pain.  I thought (and hoped) it was just acid reflux.  The complicated explanation is that, yes, it was acid reflux...but only part of it was.  The main part, the most painful part was that it was also heart failure.  The heartburn was so painful and "loud" in my mind that I just had to write about it.  April 26, 2013 was the first time I ever mentioned type I diabetes in my blog; the post is titled "GERD, Or Better Known As, "Oh, My God, Just Let Me Die Already!".

It wouldn't be until June of 2013 that I would have health insurance and be able to see a doctor.  And it wasn't until October 18, 2013 that my plans on what this blog is all about would begin to change forever.

October 18th was the day I had triple bypass heart surgery.  I didn't even know there was anything seriously wrong with my heart and then, in the blink of an eye, I was in the hospital.  I didn't have a heart attack, no, they caught my problem before that happened.  But all that chest pain had been caused by blockages in my heart.  Only a tiny bit of the pain had been from acid reflux.

As I recovered from heart surgery, I blogged about it.  Those posts started out being about my hospital stay, and then I started talking about my history with type I diabetes and how my rebellious nature and hatred for the disease..and fear of it, lead to all these health issues (see post "I Am Living Proof..." April, 22, 2014).  I started to think...

"I can reach out to all those young type I's out there and let them know they aren't alone, that others understand their struggle.   I can show them through my blog just how true those warnings their doctors give them are.  I can show them why they need to take control. I can help them take control! I can help them overcome their fears.  I can do so much with this blog!"

So this is what it has become.  This is my mission now.  I do so hope that I can help so many.  Diabetes doesn't just hurt our bodies, it hurts our souls even worse.  And I want to help.